The mistrust of God! It is hard to be honest about the fact that you don’t trust God. As Christians, we are supposed to trust God and we are supposed to say “Yes” and be open to whatever God wants to do. But if I were honest with you, I will say trusting God has been my biggest struggle thus far. I finally came to the realization that I really didn’t trust God. Saying it sounds good, but what does that really mean? We say a whole lot of things and a lot of it is cliche. We say we trust God, but do we really?
If you truly trusted God what would your life look like? What would you stop doing? What would you start doing? Maybe by now I have you thinking about it and asking yourself- Do I trust God? Trusting God requires a level of surrender, which many of us have yet to master. What I have also come to realize is that trust is based on experience as well. It is hard to learn to trust someone you do not know or have not experienced. It is also difficult to trust if that person or thing reminds you of a bad experience.
I never thought I had trust issues until now. I found myself very fearful and not understanding why. I have been afraid of my future and what it looks like and what it holds. For someone like me, who is very planned and type A, that has been very difficult. I have never been one to just go with the flow. I need to know the beat, the pace, and the direction of the flow. This type of mentality is a hindrance when it comes to trusting God. God may show you the end, but he does not always show you what it will take for you to get there.
Each step for me has been like walking off a cliff onto invisible stepping stones. I am afraid with each step because I can’t see it. The fear is that I will fall because I can’t see anything in front of me. The beautiful thing about this is as you keep going eventually you just know that there is another stone waiting on you with your next step. Instead of cautiously feeling for the next thing, you will start running because you trust and know God won’t let you fall.
Where did my mistrust of God come from? It came from my life experiences. It came from me feeling like God allowed certain things to happen and as a result failed me. I put the responsibility of bad decisions others made on God and found myself blaming him for it. The Bible says perfect love casts out fear. If I am fearful, then I have not allowed love to be perfect on the inside of me. Why not? Because I have not been able to trust that love.
I have finally come to a place where I am ready to trust God. I have finally resolved on the inside of myself that it was never God that failed me. Maybe you have the same problem trusting God because you equate all of your disappointments to what you felt God did or didn’t do. I feel God reaching out just desiring for us to take a real chance on him this time. Almost like he is saying, ‘I know what happened and I know what you have been through! I just want you to take a chance on me.’ If this is you, know you are not alone. Let’s take this challenge together and take a chance. Let’s allow our spirit to lead us to where our “Trust is without borders.” I know it may be scary, but we can make it and we can make it together.