In J. Cole’s song “No Role Models”, he says in his lyrics, “Don’t save her. She don’t wanna be saved.” I’ve heard the song several times, but never really thought too much about it until now.
Many of us have this concept and perception that someone needs to come save us from something. We are always waiting on someone to come bring us out of our mess or rut that we are in. We sit back, unconsciously most of the time, pouting and acting out in the hope that someone will see us and save us. Is it really the responsibility for someone to come save you? We get upset that people were not there for us, or they didn’t do what we felt they should do and automatically attribute it to them not caring about us. That is not always the case.
Sometimes we put these unrealistic expectations on people without even verbalizing to them what it is that we expect or want. Sometimes, yes, they should have known better, but that is not always the case. Maybe they have been sitting back and waiting on someone to save them too.
Last year I found myself in a bad place emotionally, mentally, and even physically. I was just existing and trying to figure out how to cope day by day. I stood around hoping someone would see me and save me. The ones that I expected to do it didn’t and it left me feeling lost and upset. How can they not see me? How can they not know that I’m dying inside?
Was it really their job to see me? Was it up to them to save me? No! The responsibility was on me. This time this year, I found myself going into the same place- slowly but surely. This time I had to save me because I actually wanted to be saved. It was time that I chose me because I felt I deserved to be chosen. I had to love me enough for the both of us, as they say.
I’ve spent majority of my life trying to please everybody else and make them happy without any regard for myself. I had some decisions to make over the past few months. I knew how it would make others feel, but this time it wasn’t about them; this time, it was about me. I CHOSE ME! I saved me, because I wanted to be saved.
We give people too much power over our souls. We sit in a place dying and starving because we are too afraid of what may be said or because we don’t want to hurt anyone else’s feelings. You are responsible in many ways for the health of your mind, body, and soul. Stop blaming everybody else for why you don’t have money, why you’re dying spiritually, or why you aren’t where you wanted to be in life.
Trauma happens to us all and although it may not have been our fault, we still have the responsibility to take control of our healing process and save ourselves from going into places of bitterness, depression, envy, and rage. Stop waiting on someone to pull you out and get ahold of something that will help you pull yourself out.
Make yourself a priority and make it your responsibility to save yourself because you are worth saving.