It’s that time of year again where you have to get out the coats, hats, and scarves. It’s the season for hot chocolate and chili. But, it is also Cuffing Season! You know that time of year where you narrow down a significant other to cuddle with and bring home to meet the family for the holidays. Now, if you are serious about this, you have been having tryouts already and now it is the time to make cuts and take your first round pick. This is going to be your valentine, so you can’t just choose anybody.
Although cuffing season is a term that many of us millennials use in fun, it has actually become a part of our culture. Some people really take this time of year very serious. It is also during this time where many of us feel lonely and almost depressed by the fact that we are single and we are not “cuffed” by now. As I transition my blogs from “Be Ye Healed” to “Cuffing Season”, I want to touch on some aspects of healing before being ready for a relationship.
I found that many of us can never have fruitful relationships because we really are not over the last one. Another aspect that many fail to touch on is the fact that many of us cannot move on because we are upset. Upset by the fact that this person you thought you would spend your life with is giving to another, what you thought they should have given to you. Isn’t it the most infuriating thing to see the person you were with be EVERYTHING you wanted them to be, but for someone else.
It is in that place that many of us run to another to cover up the pain and a lot of times make the decision to spend the rest of our lives with someone that was only there for a temporary fix. Then we wonder why there are so many unhappy marriages and so many people getting divorced. If people were honest, they would probably say they really weren’t healed before they jumped into that relationship.
We allow what society deems as the season for commitment determine whether or not we are truly ready; instead of allowing our healing to determine are readiness. If you don’t heal from the last relationship you will hold on to the pain and regrets and possibly end up ruining the next person because of it.
It is time to be healed from those relationships and people that have hurt you. Stop looking at their social media and reminiscing on the past. It is time to let it go. Don’t go into another year being okay with not being okay. It’s time to change your focus and work on you.
I personally have made a decision to be okay with not being “cuffed.” I have decided to cuff myself and take myself out on dates and treat me the way I expect my future husband to treat me. I just want to challenge my singles to not hold your head down this year, but change your focus and choose to be about you. Work on you and take care of you. You never know, this may be your last winter having an opportunity to cuff yourself.
Be adamant about healing in your relationships and allow God to do the rest. You are worth more. You are greater than this. Just because they didn’t see your value doesn’t mean you didn’t have value, it only meant they couldn’t afford what you carry.